Monday, February 9, 2009

Setting the Tone for Your Relationships

You've just had a fight with your girlfriend or wife. The problem is, you can't figure out why? When I was first married, I couldn't hear the tone of my voice as I spoke to my wife. So, many times, she thought I was mad at her when I wasn't. It was all because I hadn't taught myself to listen to the tone of my own voice.
It is commonplace to listen to others and react when the tone of their voice is contrary to what it should be. We may wonder, "What did I do wrong?" Probably nothing! That person, like me with my wife, hadn't listened to their own tone of voice.
One way you can gauge how you are coming across to others is to watch their facial reactions and body language as you talk to them. This will help to cue you in when your tone of voice is not right. However, by that time, it may be too late because you could have already said something amiss if you notice it in the language of their body.
Practice by yourself, perhaps with a tape recorder, as you speak as you normally would. Then play it back and see if your intent was evident in what you said and how you said it. Another way to do this is to have a friend or loved one listen to you as you practice and give you feedback.
We can avoid a lot of unnecessary squabbles with those around us if we will just take the time to listen to ourselves. This listening will also help you de-stress your life and make it more peaceful. You can set the tone of your life for the better by practicing this simple technique.

1 comment:

  1. This is so true. I know people in my own life who struggle with this!!!

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