by Dan Langerock
After the first few weeks of being married, life tends to settle down into the routines of work and other activities you and your spouse are involved in. Here are a few ideas to help keep your marriage alive and well as you progress in your relationship.
· Plan activities you can do together as well as individually. Make a point of setting aside time when you can be together in spite of the busyness of your life. Otherwise, it may happen too infrequently, and begin to deteriorate your relationship as a couple.
· Keep the surprise factor in your marriage: a dozen roses for no certain occasion, a date night together on the spur of the moment or a drive along the beach on a moonlit night.
· Have a set time you can be together as a couple with the Lord to worship and study together. Take the time to share ideas and listen to each other’s point of view about the topic of your study. Perhaps play a tape of a favorite ministry and discuss the content when it is finished.
· Look for ways you can please each other: help with the dishes when the other one is tired, put your arms around your mate and ask how they are doing, writing love notes or poems to each other, and a host of other ideas you can imagine.
· Be sincere with your compliments. When your spouse does something use a compliment to show your appreciation. If they are involved in public speaking or whatever support them in whatever way you can to uplift them.
· Be interested in what they are interested o and learn as much as you can about it so you can be knowledgeable and show you care. For instance, when my wife used to crochet, I would ask her a question about a certain type of stitch she was using
· Just because you are married doesn’t mean there will be less romance. In fact, now there should be more. If you keep the romance alive in your relationship, you will grow closer and more in love with each other.
Don’t let your relationship dwindle away into drudgery and boredom with each other. Use the wisdom and love of God to keep it fresh and alive as a testimony to what God is doing in your lives. Remember, your marriage and how you conduct it are part of your witness. Let your marriage make an impact for God with the love you have for each other.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Saturday, January 10, 2009
How to Jump-Start Your Marriage Relationship
By Dan Langerock
Too often, discussions about attitudes and other important information about the individuals getting married are left unsaid until a crisis arises. Then, you may find out too late the way a person reacts in a given situation is not to your liking. As an alternative, I would like to suggest a new way of thinking about the beginning of a marriage.
Common thought tells us that a marriage begins when the vows are said, but does it really? What would happen if you began relating to each other as married once you knew for certain God wanted the two of you to be a couple. This could begin as early as the moment the engagement is announced, if not before. What I am referring to is how you talk and respond to each other, not in a sexual sense.
If you were to begin at this point of knowing you were meant for each other, you would have a better chance to evaluate how you function as a couple in God’s eyes as well as others. After all, isn’t the beginning of a great marriage when your hearts become as one before the vows are said. When that first blossom of love begins to grow toward maturity?
Begin by relating verbally to one another as if you were married. Take the time to also listen to each other so you know what your lover is feeling at the moment. If you don’t take the time to listen to them, how will you know their true needs?
Observe and ask questions as you grow in your relationship about how and why your mate reacts in various situations. If you don’t know why they reacted in a given manner, sit down with them and discuss the situation you are curious about.
Nurture the love you have begun together and ask for God’s wisdom in your relationship. That is the beginning of a truly great relationship, when God is at its center. Take time to talk and listen to each other’s ideas on spiritual and other areas of interest. What relational habits you begin at this point will greatly benefit your marriage at a future date. Remember the admonition from Proverbs 3:6 “Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths.”(NLT) He will not only direct your paths as individuals but as a couple also. Let the light of your love for each other be a beacon to the world around you.
Too often, discussions about attitudes and other important information about the individuals getting married are left unsaid until a crisis arises. Then, you may find out too late the way a person reacts in a given situation is not to your liking. As an alternative, I would like to suggest a new way of thinking about the beginning of a marriage.
Common thought tells us that a marriage begins when the vows are said, but does it really? What would happen if you began relating to each other as married once you knew for certain God wanted the two of you to be a couple. This could begin as early as the moment the engagement is announced, if not before. What I am referring to is how you talk and respond to each other, not in a sexual sense.
If you were to begin at this point of knowing you were meant for each other, you would have a better chance to evaluate how you function as a couple in God’s eyes as well as others. After all, isn’t the beginning of a great marriage when your hearts become as one before the vows are said. When that first blossom of love begins to grow toward maturity?
Begin by relating verbally to one another as if you were married. Take the time to also listen to each other so you know what your lover is feeling at the moment. If you don’t take the time to listen to them, how will you know their true needs?
Observe and ask questions as you grow in your relationship about how and why your mate reacts in various situations. If you don’t know why they reacted in a given manner, sit down with them and discuss the situation you are curious about.
Nurture the love you have begun together and ask for God’s wisdom in your relationship. That is the beginning of a truly great relationship, when God is at its center. Take time to talk and listen to each other’s ideas on spiritual and other areas of interest. What relational habits you begin at this point will greatly benefit your marriage at a future date. Remember the admonition from Proverbs 3:6 “Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths.”(NLT) He will not only direct your paths as individuals but as a couple also. Let the light of your love for each other be a beacon to the world around you.
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